How to Control Premature Ejaculation

Premature ejaculation, or PE, affects a broad range of men worldwide. PE is when a man climaxes before he wants to — it is not measured by a time limit. Although PE is common, it is by no means incurable, nor is it a serious sexual condition. Read on for helpful hints and tips about how to fight against PE.

Steps

1. 
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   Understand that premature ejaculation is very common. Dr. Kinsey, the famed (or infamous) American sex researcher, was reputed to have conducted a study in which 75% of subjects climaxed before they wanted to.^[1] That's three out of every four males. So if you think, you're alone in the woods, think again. PE affects a wide range of men.
   • On a biological side note, the idea of PE makes evolutionary sense. If you come to a climax easier, you have a better chance of depositing your sperm. Early man lived in a precarious environment with lots of dangers and distractions, making the quick transfer of sperm into the vagina a beneficial trait.
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   Try Kegel exercises. Named after Arnold Kegel, these exercises help condition and strengthen the pubococcygeus, or PC, muscle. When you're urinating, you contract the PC muscle in order to stop mid-stream. Exercising this muscle is relatively easy and discreet.
   • Hold your PC muscle for 10 seconds at a time. Try 10 of these per day, anywhere from behind the wheel to behind the desk.
3. 
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   Use a condom.^[2] Condoms reduce sensation to the penis, making overstimulation less of a problem. Avoid condoms with lubricants that impart different sensations, like tingling or warm sensation. It goes without saying, but the more stimulation, the likelier premature ejaculation becomes.
   • Condoms come in all different kinds of materials. If you are allergic to latex, look for condoms made out of polyurethane or polyisoprene.
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   Masturbate more often. For some men, the problem is as simple as that. The male body has a supply of sperm which, while vast, isn't unlimited. The more often you masturbate, the longer it should take to climax.
   • Try masturbating before you get ready for sex. Try masturbating for at least 15 minutes before you allow yourself to climax. If you partner is game, you can have sex and treat that as the "masturbation," and then go again once your refractory period has let up.
   • There's no reason not to have second- or third-helpings of sex. If your partner is accommodating, the experience can be quite enjoyable. Each time you orgasm, you should find you last longer the next go around. Remember, however, to do what feels good. If your testes or penis hurts, you may have go give the romp a temporary timeout.
   • Masturbation, under normal circumstances, is perfectly safe.^[3] 60 years ago, sinister rumors about masturbation spread around like wildfire — that it'd give you hairy palms, make you blind, leave you infertile. These are totally false and unsubstantiated by science. Gentle masturbation may even help you avoid prostate cancer!^[4]
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   Breathe well and fully. Any of the body organs requires full energy to perform its task and so this is true in the case of reproductive organs as well. Taking big breaths might help suppress the ejaculatory response, and it's perfectly normal to be breathing hard when you're getting down and dirty.
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   Communicate with your sexual partner. Communication in any relationship is key, but communication in sex is just as important. Talk to your partner about premature ejaculation, and if you're ashamed or embarrassed, be thankful you don't have delayed or retarded ejaculation, which is a condition whereby a male cannot come to orgasm despite sexual desire. Seriously, count your blessings!
   • Let your partner know when you believe to be near climax and pull out. This would be an awesome opportunity to pleasure your partner, whether manually or orally.
   • When you think your penis is again ready for stimulation, continue coitus. Let your partner know when you are nearing climax and plan to pull out.
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   Try a topical medication. Topical anesthetic medications have been used successfully for years to desensitize the penis and delay the onset of ejaculation. However, traditional "numbing" creams and sprays also have the side effects of loss of feeling for the man and transference to his partner, decreasing sexual pleasure for the couple. There is a new class of topical medications with absorption technology that solve both of these problems.
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   Try out different sex positions. This is not only fun, it may be fruitful: you might find that a certain sexual position gives you more time without a climax. Your partner has the opportunity to explore their likes and dislikes at the same time.
   • Many heterosexual men find that having the woman on top can help with their PE. Missionary position, where the man is on top, may make PE worse.
   • Purchase a book about sex positions, like the Kama Sutra, and methodically try positions that you and your partner find intriguing. It will spice up your sex life and maybe even yield a position that truly works for you.
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   If you are still having problems with PE, talk to your doctor about SSRIs.SSRIs are selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (it's a mouthful, we know) that are generally used antidepressants.^[2]
   • SSRIs are used because a side effect of theirs is inhibited orgasm, which helps delay ejaculation.
   • Examples of SSRIs include fluoxetine (Prozac), paroxetine (Paxil), and sertraline (Zoloft), which are all prescription-only medicines.^[2]
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    Don't have unrealistic expectations from yourself. Don't measure, focus on pleasure. There is no specific definition of PE in terms of minutes and seconds. The stress that you put on yourself is not psychologically healthy, and it may even exacerbate PE. Have a healthy conversation with your sexual partner and discuss your options. Remember, sex is supposed to be fun.